rhapsody,, snowbaz
by snowsbazed
Summary: simon snow was the worst chosen one to ever be chosen. because he wasn't really the goddamn chosen one. though baz likes to say he chose him. but baz says a lot of things. being a normal is difficult, and dealing with the leathery nuisances on his back is harder. but there isn't time to complain. someone is out to get him. and this someone leaves simon with life-altering new
1. nothing really matters,, to me

simon snow;

basil pitch;

the light and the dark

the sun and the moon

 _because_ im _easy come easy go_

"d-don't make me choose!"

"ah, but it should be easy."

 _little high little low_

"simon! please.. help."

"baz! i'm- i'm coming!"

in which simon snow releases the rhapsodies

in which basil pitch listens in pain

in which nothing really matters

 _to me_


	2. one

**simon**

"What the hell is going on in here?"

Oh lovely, Penny was back. Simon had dealt with enough that day, and he wasn't thrilled about her demanding of an explanation.

"Well, in short: Baz is impregnated," he told her.

"Fucking hell, Snow." his boyfriend moaned, blindly hurling a pillow at Simon.

He lay across their coach, a gray towel covering his eyes like a mask. Baz was just not having a good day.

"I leave for, what, twenty minutes! Jesus, Simon! Agatha missed out!"

" _Piss off!_ " Baz growled, grabbing for another pillow and tossing it at the sound of her voice.

It didn't surprise Simon that it nailed her right in the face. Baz was perfection, he never did anything wrong. Except for dating pure chaos, of course.

"He showed up here right after you left," he told Penelope. "Groaning like James next door when his girlfriend gives him a 'blow dry.' Quite funny, actually."

Baz snickered, "Honestly, watch his mum walk in the midst of that. I'm pretty sure she lives with him."

"You boys need professional help," Penny muttered.

"I already do have professional help."

"And I already _declined_ having professional help."

She rolled her eyes, making right to the cabinet. I knew she was about to grab from her favourite beer stash.

That basically summed up their college life thus far. Penny drinking while Simon and Baz made out.

 _Making out_. Simon leaned over a pecked Baz's lips. He began to smile.

"That always seems to make me feel better. Crowley, Snow. You have the fucking magick touch-" Baz stopped himself. "Wrong choice of words?"

"At this point, I don't even give a shit," Simon replied, shrugging.

About a year ago, he'd lost all his magick stopping the Insidious Humdrum, aka his alter ego, or according to Penny 'a major pain in her arse.'

It left him powerless, and permanently scarred, for ending the reign of terror required the death of his mentor and father-figure, the Mage. Even though he was a murderer...

Every time the magick was mentioned, Simon subconsciously replayed the scene in his head. Smoke filled the White Chapel as the Mage clawed madly at him. The spell. The paralysing fear as he fell limp.

"Simon?" Penny frowned.

He shook his head, "Fine. I'm fine."

"You're not fine, love. That's coming from the angsty vampire lying 'impregnated' on your couch." Baz told him, concern lacing his voice.

"What is wrong with you?" Simon asked anxiously.

He wanted to change the subject.

"Do vampires get sick?" his boyfriend asked, the question directed toward Penny.

"Not the kind of sicknesses Normals and Mages get, but I guess." She shrugged.

"I think I drained an infected rat. Just my luck. I knew that flavour was off," he groaned, running his tongue over the vicious fangs in his mouth.

For the first time in a while, Simon laughed. A real, hearty chuckle. He grabbed his phone, a real, actual phone.

"Smile, Baz!"

"Snow, I will _end_ you."

 **agatha**

Santa Monica was breathtaking. It beat out London by a million points. The beaches, the white sand between Agatha's toes. She fit in there, all the beauties with their long blonde hair and blue eyes.

It was a distraction from what she'd seen. What she'd gone through.

 _snowhoe_ has sent you a snap

Goodness, Simon Snow with a phone, with a _snapchat_. Much had changed. According to Penny, she and Simon were living in a flat together in the city. Apparently, Simon lost all his power defeating the Humdrum.

Agatha constantly wondered: what happened to Baz? The last she saw of him, the vampire was dragging bloody Penelope into the smoking chapel. With that fucking Mage and Ebb. Poor Ebb.

She dragged her finger across the glowing screen. The beach was perfect for relaxation. Her girlfriends were always in the water, but Agatha preferred resting on a beach blanket with her phone.

 _tap to view_

"No.." she murmured. "Unbelievable!"

The black hair, the _fucking fangs_. Simon was with Baz! After everything!

She sent a quick photo of half her face, _captioning what the fuck simon_.

Just moments later, Agatha received a message from Penny.

 _forgot to tell u, simon + baz r a thing. Hope ur having a wonderful whatever day it is, love xoxo_


End file.
